Men don't like Valentine's Day

I realized while Madison and I were at the store today that Valentine's Day is coming up. I am married so I better think about it. Even though Amy is cool and says not to worry about it, I know inwardly she appreciates a nice gesture on Valentine's Day.

However, doing something new is troublesome. Everybody knows all the cliches and things to do. Sometimes we men need a pus, if not a violent shove, in the right direction. I have told Amy that men don't take hints. Just tell us. Hinting doesn't accomplish anything. It's hard enough for us to remember this Hallmark-created holiday.

So when I jumped online tonight to check my email on Yahoo!, I spied a quick article on what to buy for Valentine's Day. Worth a look, right? Maybe I will actually get a good idea.

Article "How to Pick the Right Gift for Valentine's Day"

It's by what Yahoo! calls a "Health Expert" on her blog. Her name is Dr. Laura Berman. And now I know that that "Dr." title must stand for "Damn retarded."

First of all, the only real gift to buy is a bouquet of red roses. Okay, so what is so new and exciting about this one? This is what men get when they don't know what the hell else to get. My wife actually tells me not to waste money on things that are going to die (although I'm sure she likes the idea, but not on Valentine's Day itself).

There are several examples of writing poems and creating coupons for your romance. Yes, romantic and all, but if that is all your girl gets for Valentine's, I bet she thinks you bloody forgot and scribbled a poem to makeup for it. These are the types of things you give to your girl on non-romance holidays. Give it to her on January 29, and you will get a much better reation.

One is actually degrading. "A home-cooked meal." I cook just as much. That's a 1950 steretype if I ever heard one. And this is a woman psychologist.

I was pissed after reading this. I thought to myself, "That's it? Those are your 'expert' suggestions?" I hope she doesn't get paid to write these pieces of uninformative crap. What do I actually buy her or do for her that looks like it takes some thought, or looks like it costs some money? If I give Amy a poem and a coupon, or told her that her present was my cooking dinner, she'll think she was gipped.

After reading this, I may have inadvertently discovered something. Maybe women don't know what they want for Valentine's Day either.