Epiphany

Blog 9-17-05

I think I’ve had a bit of an epiphany tonight. I am sitting here watching the old Hitchcock movie “Dial ‘M’ for Murder” at almost midnight. I think I now understand a bit more about my dad.

My dad always stayed up late. He often fell asleep in front of the tv. I think I understand why. After all day with the kids and a house full of people, this little bit of time alone is like living in another universe. Your own universe.

Everyone needs time alone. Just a little. There are no kids running around. Life isn’t going on. I can actually sit and watch a movie right now. I have tried watching movies at, say, 7 or 8 o’clock. Stuff happens. Madison has to be put to bed. Yada yada yada.

There’s nothing wrong with it. Just wanna watch a movie without a big to-do. Some nights I sit and read a book (if I try to read it earlier I often read a couple paragraphs and then Madison needs a new diaper or something.

That’s why Dad always stayed up late. He had three rugrats. I can’t even imagine three. He was so glad we all went to sleep so he could get some peace and quiet. He would force himself to stay up for a couple of hours just because he could breathe. He was a devoted family man, but where does a dad go? As a kid, I could always go to my room to read a comic book or a book. Where does a dad go? My room now as a 32-year-old dad is the living room, the community room. That’s just what it is. My dad had the same dilemma. It was his house so his room was the main room. He just had to wait until the small hours of the night to really enjoy it.

I become more like my dad as time goes by. My dad is a great man and if I am even half the man he is than I am doing a good job. It’s amazing when you understand another piece to the little puzzle.