Teacher Comments

These were the comments from the teacher on my critical paper. OUCH! is all I have to say. Admittedly, I kind of stopped major revisions on this paper when I found out about my possible layoff at work, but I still don't think I would have fixed some of these things. I apparently have to really buckle down on these big papers. But I pulled out my A- for the class! Truly, didn't I really learn the material, the poetic forms that we studied? Do I have to fix sentence errors to get my A? I think the teacher realized this along the way with my regular assignments. I learned my stuff. If I were a full time student, I wouldn't have any excuse not to have this paper perfect. But I have a teaching job (for now!) and a wife and kids that take time away. Not an excuse but a reason.

Matt,

Your critical paper received a "B"; that gives you an "A-" for the class.

You had a number of problems with your paper that prevented it from receiving an "A." Your syntax was often awkward. In the first paragraph (in the space of four sentences), you used the phrase "thought to be" three times.

Also on page one, you said, "This poem received immediate popularity." How does something receive popularity? Something can achieve popularity or receive acclaim, but receive popularity? Awkward.

On page two, you said, "Although stilted and simple, Wilde's influence and reputation definitely helped this form along." Wilde's influence and reputation was stilted? That's what your sentence says. I assume you mean the poem was stilted, but that's not what you said. You had a number of misplaced modifiers such as this in your paper.

More important were problems in logic and accuracy. One page one, in reference to the villanelle, you say, "The twentieth century shaped this form and modern masters have learned ways to turn these fixed rules into serious poetry." So, the poets who were writing villanelle prior to the 20th century were not serious? Their poems were frivolous?

In discussing Dylan Thomas’s poem, you say, “Thomas also uses enjambment to make the repetition less noticeable and this helps it flow better from one stanza to the next.” Only two of the 19 lines evince enjambment; this is rather slight use of the technique, and I'm not sure how that makes the repetition less noticeable­-none of the repeated lines are enjambed.

I could go on, but I won't. I hope you enjoyed the class. I appreciated your participation.

Best,
Terry