You Think English is Easy??? Can you read these right the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present . 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row . 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? 21) Drive on the parkway and park on the driveway ?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. We could go on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP, so... Time to shut UP!
I watched EMPIRE DREAMS, the documentary on the making of Star Wars, or how it almost didn’t get made, on The History Channel the other night. While this doesn’t make it automatic solid history per se as that channel is also notorious for playing shows on UFOs, Area 51, the Bermuda Triangle, Atlantis, and the Loch Ness Monster, nevertheless, it does lend more historical credence to the social phenomenon that was Star Wars.
Funny thing is: I know dozens of students at school, here and back down in Washington, who have never seen it and don’t even want to. So as the beginning of the program talks about it being “tough” to remember a time before Star Wars,” it’s tough for me to understand kids who don’t want to know about it at all.
Is this the lack of imagination between my generation and theirs?
Star Wars got me dreaming. It was, hands down, Star Wars that gave me a love of science fiction and simple, plain ol’ fiction. I liked stories.
Because of Star Wars, I read other books, comic books, saw other science fiction movies and shows. I even wrote some Star Wars stories and play acted with the characters among my friends. Between Empire and Jedi, we constantly tried to come up with ways to free Han Solo from the carbonite. Those figures gave us hours of new scenarios. And I branched out from there. And play acting? Do you fathom how important a skill it is to be able to play act?
Star Wars sparked my imagination. Maybe that would be a decent class to have in English. I could structure a complete English lesson around it.
Fantastic. I was reading an advance copy of Illusive Arts' and Fanboy Planet's Tony Loco #2 by Teague and McCaw and guess what? My review blurb from a review of issue #1 is featured on the back cover of the comic.
BERZERK had to be one of my favorite video games as a kid. Something about it. You are trying to escape while robots chase you down. Your imagination goes with this stuff. I swear, these old games, probably because of their limited picture enhancements, made you imagine a greater world in the game. You had to actually picture yourself as the main guy. The robots, or whatever came to get you, had to seem frightening in your mind. The imagination leapt forward, as if filling in the gaps that some of these games left behind in the details. The game seen now seems so utterly simplistic, like a kid's programming effort. However, it was one of the biggest games of its day.
Here, for posterity's sake, is the BERZERK game manual. Check out the cool pictures. Probably another thing that got me into comic books as a kid.
At the Science Academy, if a child wants a special job, they have to fill out an application. I applaud this for its real world significance. Morgan had to fill this one out on fixing the stapler:
She says, "I have been fixing staplers since I was five years old." Classic.
I self-analyzed my handwriting at Handwriting University. Quite informative. Here are the results:
******* The Analysis Starts Here *******
For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Matthew has left lots of white space on the all four borders of the paper. Matthew fills up just the center area of the page. If this is true, then Matthew has a particular shyness toward people and a fear of moving too fast in any direction. In some cultures, respecting people, rules, and adhering to protocol are ways of life. The right side of the page represents the future and the left side represents the past. Matthew seems a bit stuck in the middle, afraid to take action. Matthew seems to have a fear of looking bad or of crossing boundries. It will be easy to work with Matthew on a team, because Matthew will usually follow the rules. However, this desire to respect the boundries can often be construed as a lack of confidence and people will walk over Matthew if he is not careful.
Matthew has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Matthew is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
Matthew is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Matthew basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average.
In reference to Matthew's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Matthew slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project. He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Matthew can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Matthew is not facing something going on in his life today. He is deceiving himself about it. Often, Matthew's opinion of himself is different than those around him. This trait gives Matthew the ability to deny anything that does not agree with his "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Matthew not to face some reality in his life at this time.
Matthew is moderately outgoing. His emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, he can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. He has the ability to put himself into the other person's shoes. Matthew will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes he will be happy, the next day he might be sad. He has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because he is in between. Psychology calls Matthew an ambivert. He understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, he will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." He doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing him to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to him. He puts himself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet he will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Matthew is an expressive person. He outwardly shows his emotions. He may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Matthew is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when he finally has to. He basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Matthew doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
Cyril came up last night with three huge king crabs to share. He has his crabpot right out on the ice on the Bering Sea. He brought them to us still alive and kicking. He showed me how to clean them and Madison and I feasted on crab meat. Amy gets heartburn from too much seafood and Morgan doesn't like it. Being native, Cyril doesn't have to pay for the crabpot permit. If I got one, it would be pricey. So he shares with all of us in the apartment. There was a ton of meat after we cooked them. In fact, I didn't have anything but crab for dinner. Great stuff!
The Illinois Bureau of Tourism is taking votes on the Seven Wonders of Illinois on the website http://www.enjoyillinois.com. I am interested in this as the place of my birth and what everyone else thinks of Illinois.
I was born in Evergreen Park, Illinois, at Little Company of Mary Hospital. There's a bit of trivia for you. My mom grew up in Worth. We lived in Bolingbrook or that area through my eighth grade year and then we moved out to Somonauk. I spent a lot of time in that area and the western suburbs. I have been through most major cities, only once down to Springfiled on an expedition with Hal and Britt to get a video game. I went all the way down to Southern Illinois University once, where I got my tattoo. I graduated from Western Illinois University out in Macomb. My first year I went to Northern Illinois University. My sister graduated from Eastern Illinois University, so I have been most every place.
I am interested in the rest of the state so I will be keeping a close eye on this.
When she was still learning to read, about 5 years old, I took out this copy of Superman, a public service announcement about the land mines in Bosnia. It was an outreach program to stop kids from picking up discarded landmines.
As she started to read, she got as far as "Superman." The comic was written for Bosnian children, in their European language with their alphabet system. She couldn't figure out why the letters looked so strange. She thought she was going crazy because she was a pretty good reader at that point.
I eventually let her in on the joke. I'm mean, aren't I?
I asked at work what the difference between caribou and reindeer was. I was told, jokingly, that caribou have two ears and reindeer have one ear. That means if you shoot an animal, and see it has a reindeer tag on it, you lop off the ear and they can't prove it was part of the reindeer herd. Caribou are mostly wild and reindeer are part of a moving herd that they have pretty much domesticated, like the lower 48's equivalent of when "the cows come home."
Now why didn't they have stuff like this when I was in school?
We actually took the day, the SCHOOL DAY, to have career presentations from members of the Alaskan community. Not some Saturday or after school program, but the school day. The kids may have been a forced audience, but they were exposed to some great and viable options.
I was able to hang around my first period class all day through the fair. We cycled through different rooms every 25 minutes. And that was perfect--not too long and not too short.
First, we went to the colleges and universities room to learn about the four-year option of secondary education. (Every teacher had a different schedule and saw different presenters at different times.)
Second, we heard what CAMP was all about. That's the offshoot of the hospital that deals with preventing diabetes.
Third was the Nome Police Department.
Fourth, we were able to wander around all the tables that were set up in the RC. Freebies! And one-on-one discussions.
Fifth, we were exposed to dentistry, namely dental therapists and hygienists and staff.
Sixth, we heard all about AVTEC down in Seward. That's a great vocational school.
Seventh, we heard about early childhood development, especially educational options. We made paper helicopters to show how kids learn.
Eighth, we heard all about nursing.
Ninth, possible jobs in vocational rehabilitation.
Tenth, the Marines!
There were two more sessions that my group went to but I was relieved by another teacher for my prep period.
All in all, this was a fantastic day. All of these great options. It was great that most stressed that students must have at the very least a high school diploma. It was great because now that kids get to choose, they really need to hear all sorts more about these fields. It gets them thinking. I'm glad they took a day of school to make it seem important and worthwhile too.
I, for one, cringed at the Snickers ad during the Superbowl. Not for the fact that two men kissed. I cringed for the obvious homophobic overtones that are just degrading and disgusting in today's society.
The Americablog website linked above shows in exacting detail most of the debate over this. Snickers has even pulled the website completely and are now fending off suits from GLAAD, the Matthew Shepard organziation and others.
Downright vindictive and mean. Downright wrong. Shock value. That's all it was.
Those ad guys should never work again. They probably have college degrees. How could they not have taken the classes where you learn about this? How could Snickers (Mars Inc) have put the green light on this?
Damnit, and I like Snickers. No more Snickers for me. I protest for this blatantly abusive behavior.
(Incidentally, I wonder what sort of deal SAG has worked out for these commercials being featured and replayed online? One of the big concerns actors have with commercials is getting over exposed by one popular spot and losing work on other spots as a result of it, so those actors in very successful commercials typically get good residuals to make up for the new work they're not getting; I wonder how SAG has addressed this with regard to online reuse? When I negotiated for SAG, the producers were real shitcocks about online stuff.)
This is very interesting to me because I remember when The Mountain radio station in Seattle went through this for its online feed. They couldn't stream their feed because the commercial actors were complaining that they weren't getting paid for that medium. They got paid for the radio but not for the internet. I can understand that, especially if I were a commercial voice or actor. This may come up and be a big issue. I am sure the companies like it, but depending on the hits on YouTube, they'll probably have to start rewriting contracts. This does interest me highly, especially concerning syndication.
However, I don't think that COMMERCIALS need to be news under any reason or regard. I'm sick of stuff like this being NEWS. I knew about that stupid Kevin Federline commercial before it aired because it was on the news. First of all, does he not know they are making fun of him? Second, we are starting to talk about advertisements as entertainment. You know we are going towards dystopia when the commercials are our entertainment.
It's warmer here in Nome today than it is in Illinois. It's 26 degrees and bright bright sunshine right now.
We are starting Brave New World with my senior class today. I actually spoke for 50 straight minutes discussing with the students some of the issues that pop up in the book. It's one of my favorites, ever since I had to read it for Mrs. Lehman's class. It is great to get mad and talk about ideas. This and Orwell's 1984 are great dystopian fiction that I believe everyone simply must read. As Isaac Asimov once said, "We write science fiction not only to predict the future but to prevent it."
The sophomores are writing persuasive essays now. Most chose the topic having electronic devices, especially iPods, in school. Wow. Informative, eh? I especially love the argument they use about using the devices during free time during the day. Tells you how much free time they get in school, doesn't it? The hours should be filled up.
I have to chaperone the Valentine's dance this Saturday night from 10 pm to 11:30. I don't really mind so much but I absolutely can't stand that music lately. I had to help chaperone two dances for the volleyball girls in Kotzebue and Bethel this year and had to plug my ears. There's only so much hip hop one can stand if it is not your favorite genre.
I am upbeat and happy lately. I am definitely on the up-cycle, seeing the bright side of life.
Here, take this gift, I was reserving it for some hero, speaker, or general, One who should serve the good old cause, the great idea, the progress and freedom of the race, Some brave confronter of despots, some daring rebel; But I see that what I was reserving belongs to you just as much as to any.
(Cantatrice: a professional female singer esp. of opera.)
I tip my hat to the Colts. They picked the Bears apart, bit by bit.
I guess that's what happens when you are afraid to give the ball to your offense and your quarterback. If the Bears had a decent quarterback, it would have been much closer.
We're midway through the third quarter and the Bears are down 19-14.
Bears could not have gotten off to a better start, with Hester's return and an interception all within the first four minutes.
I just have to say thank goodness for the rain. Otherwise, the Bears may have been out of it entirely. All the turnovers have made it fun.
Grossman just slipped on the field and was sacked by McFarlane. How did the Bears get here with him? It's like every Chicago fan is scared to death when Grossman gets the ball, (he just slipped again), as if we are on bated breath as to not have him screw up too badly. It's not like anyone says, "Just wait'll our offense gets back out there."
The Prince halftime show was pretty good, I thought. I like that he used songs that weren't his.
The football pool had the same square win both quarters, Bears 4, Colts 6.
Amy bought me one for Christmas, although I am still hunting for a special connector to hook it to my TV. I need my dad to help me figure it out, especially with the new-fangled TVs.
They are also releasing games again on the new systems. The release of Major League Baseball on the Nintendo DS looks like it incorporates the old controls, where you press a button on the keypad in relation to position. The disc made pitching fun too. Dad and I played for hours.
VH1 now features nine Intellivision games on their Classic Online Arcade. Astrosmash, Snafu, Buzz Bombers, Space Armada, Star Strike, Pinball, Motocross, Sharp Shot and the unreleased cartridge Brickout are free to play on the wood-grained site. A Shockwave emulator runs the actual program code from the original cartridges, duplicating the experience and fun of the real games!
“We’re excited to be part of the VH1 Classic Arcade,” says Keith Robinson, President of Intellivision Productions, Inc. “With programs like ‘Best Week Ever’ and ‘I Love the 80s’ - which featured Intellivision games - VH1 have become the arbiters of pop culture. It’s great that VH1 recognizes the impact Intellivision’s games have had and continue to have.”
I ordered some new DVDs, all Hitchcock. Finally watched I Confess for the first time. From 1953, this movie highlights the role of the priest over one of his parishoner's confessions...of a murder. The priest still debates the issues, inwardly, when they accuse him of the murder.
I liked it. I can see why most people have all but forgotten it from the rest of Hitch's canon. The suspense wasn't overly scary, not like a shower scene in Psycho, but the suspense holds as to when and if the priest will give it up to save his own skin. If he tells of the confession, he fails as a priest. If he doesn't, he could go to jail for a murder he didn't commit.
Quite fascinating. That's more of a cerebral suspense. You want the priest to win, but as a Catholic, I understand that if he tells of the confession he may lose even more. Classic Scylla and Charybdis here (digressing, that's where we get the phrase "rock and a hard place" from, from The Odyssey).
Also fascinating are some of the shots. Some beautifully framed film moments, either with Anne Baxter coming down the stairs or the priest walking along the street with all this burden under the shadow of a monument of Christ carrying his cross.
The Bears were last in the Superbowl when I had just turned 13 years old, three days after my birthday in 1986. When your team makes the big one, especially on the one sport that you follow, it is amazing.
The Bears are underdogs, from what the betting line tells us. They are minus 7 but I think that is still a coin flip. Whatever happens, I think it will be a good game.
I even did a pool at work, one of those squares pools. I managed to sell all the squares and there will be a hefty little pot for each quarter and the final. I managed to get 0-0 so I am hoping it pays out!
A much-anticipated report by the Commission on No Child Left Behind, a bipartisan panel convened by the Aspen Institute to advise Congress on refurbishing NCLB, recommends that states be required to set up systems to track teachers’ effectiveness based on student achievement data over time, as well as principal and peer evaluations. Under the plan, if a teacher does not achieve “HQET status” after five years (including three years of specialized professional development), his or her principal would be required to notify the parents of students in the teacher’s classes. Teachers who fail to attain HQET status after seven years would no longer be allowed to teach in a school receiving Title I funds.
I can't help but cringe. How would they keep track of this? What kind of test? Base my job on the effective scores of students? Do I get to pick the students? How long do I get with the students, only a year or less? I am all for holding teachers accountable, and myself, but there has to be a better way than test scores.
I would allow any interested parent or administrator to come into my classroom at anytime, even unannounced, to make sure we are doing appropriate learning. I would even like to invite some parents to sit next to their kids.
And the data would be subjective at all times. Some students are at different levels. I have a couple of students in one period who have come a long way in writing a five-paragraph essay, but this is over two weeks of direct instruction on it. Do I get more points for those students?
This is exciting. Archaeologists recently unearthed a village about two miles away from Stonehenge that they have dated to around the time of the creation of the monument.
I have always been fascinated with Stonehenge. I have been able to see it twice. I feel like Keats as he wrote "Ode on a Grecian Urn." In that poem, he describes the beauty of the ancient vase and the stories it has frozen in time upon it. What hands created it?
WASHINGTON - A village of small houses that may have sheltered the builders of the mysterious Stonehenge — or people attending festivals there — has been found by archaeologists studying the stone circle in England. Eight of the houses, with central hearths, have been excavated, and there may be as many as 25 of them, Mike Parker Pearson said Tuesday at a briefing organized by the National Geographic Society. The ancient houses are at a site known as Durrington Walls, about two miles from Stonehenge. It is also the location of a wooden version of the stone circle. The village was carbon dated to about 2600 B.C., about the same time Stonehenge was built. The Great Pyramid in Egypt was built at about the same time, said Parker Pearson of Sheffield University.
Sixth period was passing notes and even throwing some on the floor. All the while, I was trying to talk about setting up a persuasive essay. I saw a chance, so I grabbed one of the notes.
"try to get Mr. Butcher to pick it up and read it. Put something retarded. or nothing @ ALL"
Temperatures reached the high thirties in Nome today. Gosh, we are walking around without coats in January! The snow and ice are profusely melting and then refreezing a bit on the roads for some hazardous conditions. Yesterday there were some strong winds and I found myself being pushed backwards while walking because I could get no purchase on the ice. Everyone's worried they won't be able to put out their crab pots out on the ice or do ice fishing.
Random thoughts about all that I can muster. As William Shatner once said, "Get a life!"
The Butcher Shop
Name: Matt Butcher Home: Normal, IL, United States About Me: An English teacher with a zest for life. Family. Comic books. Stuff. See my complete profile
"If it don't kill you, it only makes you stronger" --Nietzsche by way of Bruce Willis
"I am not a number, I am a free man!" --Number Six
"For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar."
--Tennyson
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
--Shelley
"Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and as sweet as love."
--Turkish Proverb
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in the old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal-temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
--Tennyson
