My comic story

It's been two solid years since I wrote this comic story that never got published. The artist finally sent me the art pages! The drawings are by Séber László (aka Laci), even though I really don't know who it is as we have only communicated through email.

THE UNASSUMING DEATH LURKER

Page one: Splash page

Panel One: Fat Chubby man sitting in a chair, in a messed up apartment. (Ideally, the guy should look like that short stocky guy from Spawn—wasn’t he the Violator?—just no face makeup). Tray of half-eaten food by his side. TV on and sports of some lame kind on it, BOWLING. To his side, there must be a little boom box radio. It is not playing music now, but must be visible and present for the ending to come together.

Text box: Meet Edward Narton. His neighbors know him as just your average sewer worker. He likes to come home at night with his 40 oz. Schlitz and his TV dinner and sit back and watch TV.

Text box #2: To look at this man, one would think that there was nothing special about him. In fact, he’s disgusting and rude, devoid of manners.

Text box #3: Looks can deceive…
Page two: Five panels

Panel one: Closeup of TV. The bowling picture shows a bowler ready to bowl. Dialogue of announcer on TV: Jeff Richards steps up to the line, ready to see if he can tie the game with four straight strikes. He has to dig down deep and see what he’s made of--

Panel two: TV fritzes to static, sound effect of a loud buzz.

Panel three: We see Edward’s face now grumpy, the lights from the TV static illuminating his face weird.

Dialogue: Awww, nuts!

Panel four: Closeup of Edward pressing buttons on remote control, to no effect. Dialogue: Reception’s out again!

Panel five: Edward throwing the remote control at TV. We should see the remote harmlessly thudding off the TV.

Dialogue: They’re at it again!
Page three: Three panels, panel three being the biggest at the bottom.

Panel one: We see Edward get up out of his chair and walking into kitchen, stomping if possible, looking mad. Remember, the apartment should be a mess.

Dialogue balloon: (Smoldering text, illegible, with some swearing asterisk symbols).

Panel two: We see him reaching for a cabinet next to the fridge.

Dialogue: This time, I’ll send them back! Panel three: Opening the cabinet, we see his stash of Death Lurker gear. There is a machine gun roll (you know, the bullets that go through the machine guns, the “whole nine yards”), a short sword, some vials of unknown chemicals, a few guns—new shapes and sizes not normal looking, a large brass ankh, a large brass cross, and any other implements artist may find neat. I also think we should add a skull of an ALIEN from the Alien movies.
Page four: Sequence of panels of Edward putting on gear. At minimum, he must be wearing that machine gun roll around his body, sort of like the sash of Chewbacca. He must pick up a machine gun, not a real machine gun, but something fanciful. It should show it being loaded with not “bullets” per se but little water tubes, hopefully a bright color. He should be lighting up a cigar on this page. The last panel on the page should show a full body shot of the Death Lurker, Edward Narton. The artist will have a lot to do with the success of this page.
Page five: Five panels

Panel one: We see Edward outside now, hefting a ladder over his shoulder. Panel two: Looking down the ladder, we see him climbing up. His face should be absolutely pissed off.

Dialogue: I’ve told these guys that if they messed with my reception anymore there would be hell to pay!

Panel three: Coming off the ladder, bringing his machine gun to bear.

Dialogue: And I’m just the Death Lurker to do it!

Panel four: From right over Edward’s shoulder, we see the satellite dish on the roof a little ways in the distance. It is a bigger dish than DirecTV. It is not absolutely huge though. Medium-sized. There are faint wisps of a greenish-grey smoke coming out of it.

Panel five: Menacing shot of Edward, pointing his machine gun directly at the “camera” of the shot.

Dialogue: Hey, you bums! Haven’t I told you to stay outta my satellite dish?
Page six: Four panels

Panel one: The wisps of the alien ghosts are coming out of the dish. Should not be menacing looking at all. They should be puffy soft-looking. The slight faces that blend into the smoke should look like cute aliens. I leave this to artist’s discretion. Dialogue: We are the Sarenitti. This is our new home.

Panel two: View of Edward with machine gun, loaded, aimed at the ghosts although we do not see the ghosts in this shot, straddling the roof and the cigar hanging out of a corner of his mouth.

Dialogue: I’ve been nice up ta now! But I’ve told ya and told ya—Ya can’t live in my satellite dish!

Panel three: We should be behind the dish, seeing the further spread of the wisps of the alien ghosts and we should be able to see Edward’s face, still aiming his machine gun. Dialogue from aliens: We know your kind, Death Lurker. It is because of your kind that we were made to leave our planet.

Panel four: closeup of the alien wisps. We should see soft and sulking faces. Make us feel sorry for these guys.

Dialogue: We are the last of our kind. Because of you Death Lurkers. You never understood our race.

Page seven: Panel one: closeup of Edward’s face, munching on the cigar. His look should appear softer now, as if he is contemplating something and listening to the aliens.

Panel two: close up of aimed machine gun now going down to his side, no longer to point towards the aliens.

Panel two: Same picture of Edward from panel one, but mouth open a little for dialogue.

Dialogue: I was a Death Lurker. Once. We had a disagreement.

Panel three: closeup of Edward’s midsection, showcasing his big gut. Make it look sort of like those “before” pictures in the workout ads.

Dialogue: But look at me now. I ain’t been a Death Lurker for years. They abandoned me when I grew a conscience. I’ve seen species like you before.

Panel four: Looking again at the aliens. Dialogue: What does your conscience tell you to do now?

Page eight:
Six panels, equal distribution on the page.
Panel one: A hand is seen flipping on a lightswitch.

Text box: Eight minutes later…
Panel two: We see the back of Edward walking away out of the kitchen, shedding his Death Lurker stuff and just leaving it on the ground.
Panel three: We see a closeup of the TV and the hand that is switching it on. The TV should be coming to life, but no picture can be seen yet.
Panel four: From behind the chair, we can see Edward plopping back into the chair with a (plop) sound effect. A picture of the bowler comes back onto the screen. TV Dialogue: Jeff Richards going for his fifth straight strike and the win…
Panel five: Same shot as panel four. This time the TV goes out again, same as before. Dialogue from Edward: Sigh!
Panel six: From behind chair, we see him turn on the boom box. Music comes out.

The End.




http://mjb0123.blogspot.com/2006/06/death-lurker.html