Marriage on St. Lawrence Island
Marriages were planned by the parents and the elders of the tribe. The young man’s family came first to the girl’s family. Very respectfully, they offered ceremonial gifts. If the girl’s parents felt honored by these gifts, they would agree to the marriage. Then the young man came to work for the girl’s parents and for the rest of her tribe. For a year or more, he worked, running errands, carrying water, and helping everyone in the tribe. Only then was he entitled to marry the girl.
In our happy girlhood days, we just followed our parents’ advice. When we saw the gifts come to our house, we knew we were to be married. We did not know our husbands before that. It was hard to be a wife to someone you didn’t know. Girls were praised for bravely following their elders’ advice. Some opposed the choice, but that was considered shameful. Then their people were ashamed.
In time, the groom was allowed to stay in the girl’s home, but he was to sleep separately. After a few nights, he would lie down beside the girl as she slept. When she woke up, she would fight to get away. Night after night, this continued. Finally, her parents—usually her father—ordered her to stop and to accept her husband.
For the girl, this begins a great change in her life. She gets to know her husband. No more crying or fighting. The couple learns to love each other.
Finally the time comes for the young couple to move to the boy’s home. The girl’s parents are firm about this, especially when the boy has worked hard. It is difficult for some girls to leave home.
Estelle Oozevaseuk recalls: “It was very hard for me to face learning home. I had to learn to like it. My great-uncle Qiivun stayed at our house all day, helping me get ready to go. The people of my tribe brought gifts. They gave things of value: skins, rope, tools and so on, so our tribe would not be ashamed. It was the same way with the boy’s parents when the agreement was made. His tribe brought gifts to my family.
“But that day I was feeling bashful toward Qiivun. I thought he just wanted to get rid of me. I didn’t realize it was for my own good. My great-uncle gave me a tool, a large plane. As we left, he said, ‘When you get there, give this to Uziva, your father-in-law.’
“Soon, there came Anasuk, my husband’s aunt. She came as the representative of his family. With a start, I thought, ‘Here she comes. I’m being moved.’ So it is for every woman as she begins her new life as a wife and mother.
“So, like a little caravan, we went our way carrying gifts. It was customary to carry gifts while walking to your new home. A line of relatives from my tribe walked me over to my in-laws’ house. It was good that their house was not far from ours. People joined in happily. They were contributing to the happiness of this young couple There are too many discontented and unhappy marriages.
“I walked very bashfully up to my father-in-law Uziva and handed him the planning tool. Smiling, he took it. That was the start of my new life. From then on, I lived and moved with my husband’s family.”
By Flora Imergan, Estelle Oozevaseuk and Mabel Toolie
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